Monday, May 7, 2012

My Maiden Voyage

Ahem..........here goes nothing. And literally..........it is possible it will be exactly that. A big fat NOTHING. As you can see, this post will most likely be rife with self-deprecation in an attempt to downplay the monster that is rearing its ugly head in the form of "insecurity". But I will try to keep it on the lighter side so as not to make my reader close the lid of their laptop in disgust at how self-loathing I am :/.
I have been floating the idea of starting my own blog for awhile. But my hestitation comes from the little voice in my head that asks the obvious question.........."Who wants to read your mindless musings Stephanie????". Well....fortunately, I have ANOTHER voice in my head that not-so-quickly retorts, "My family and friends and possibly a few strange internet creepers THANK YOU VERY MUCH!". So that's pretty much how that little exchange went in my head. So alas, my blog has been born. Conceived from a little place in my soul that wants to share part of me with you. Yes......YOU! It has become more and more apparent to me over the years that the "human experience" (i.e. acutally interacting with other humans) is crucial to our existence. And yet, as I get older, I buck the system more and more. Retreating further and further into my shell. I have yet to figure out if it's due to being around and morphing into my God-given life partner.........who happens to be much more of an introvert than I am. Possibly. Is it because I think it's self-serving to blog? Maybe. ORRRRRRRRRR.........am I depressed? NAH. That's just crazy talk. I honestly think that it's due to the fact that I'm just not as funny and cool as I once thought I was. But I canNOT let anyone else in on this life-altering revelation! So I retreat. Like a turtle into his shell. Protection. From the mean, cruel, judgemental world. There you go reader. I just laid it all out there on my virgin blog. Soul-baring/searching epiphany right there. It's enough to make my eyes bug out even as I read my own thought processes being brought to life on this here webosphereblogpagethingy. But I'm tired of holding it all in. PLUS...........I really really want to share some of the super super funny stuff that occurs in this daily thing called life. My kids are hilarious. Kevin says some pretty crazy shit. Oh yeah. That's another thing. I curse a bit. And I'm getting to the point where I don't really care if it comes out in conversation. Sometimes inflections and inntonations just don't cut it. Gotta put a little "dammit all to hell!" to drive the point home.
Now. I would like to talk a little about how the title of my blog came to be. When Fiona (my eldest child. almost 11. yeesh.) was little, she LOVED chocolate pudding cups. She used to say, "I wanna puhple" ('purple' for those of you who are not well-versed in Fiona-speak). She thought the brown looked like dark purple. Henceforth, pudding will be referred to as "puhple". Go ahead.
Try it. You know you wanna. In fact.....just go ahead and rename everything. It's like learning a new language. Except it's not real, and at least you didn't pay 500 bucks for Rosetta Stone so it could sit and adorn your bookshelf and gather dust because you have WAY TOO MANY other things to do like....say......being the matriarch of your family? But rest assured, people will look at you like you are retarded. So maybe just keep it between you and the fam mmmkay? (a little aside here. i didn't actually buy RS, but i know this would be the outcome, so i'm simply projecting my eventual actions on you. you're welcome). Soooooooo, puhple was used extensively as positive reinforcement in our house for a loooooooooong time. And I always thought that maybe, just maybe??, I would write an autobio about my life as a wife and mother (so I could be rich and famous because ANYONE WHO'S ANYBODY would want to read about me of course). And THAT would be the name of my book! You get puhple when you are good.......and "no pudding for you!" (in my best Seinfeld character guy 'no soup for you!!' voice) when you're bad. Wow. That was a ridiculously long explanation for a title. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed.
I think I've worn myself out on my first blog. You know. Like too much mental aerobics. Except I wasn't discussing nuclear fission or how to dismantle a bomb or the origins of the pythagorean theorem. So I should save the sob story for someone who cares.
Peace out reader. Thanks for enduring.

7 comments:

  1. You, an introvert? I had to go back and double check that it was you that was actually writing this, lol. Perhaps I just don't know you well enough. But maybe I don't know you well enough because your so damn introverted. Something to ponder, perhaps.

    I'm sure you'll love blogging... some days its the only form of adult conversation I get. More than some days actually, but lets try and keep the focus on your shortcomings, mmmkay?

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    1. ok ok.....i'll admit. i'm NOTHING like an introvert. i should probably go back and edit that part but i won't because i'm lazy and it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. i was just trying to illustrate the point that kevin is basically a hermit and only interacts with others because he loves me. wait. no. that's not a fair assertion. he does it because i threaten him. ha. j/k j/k about both of those. and rest assured that my shortcomings will be fully illuminated in the months and years to come. in all sincerity, thanks for the virgin post on my virgin blog. lets not talk about how inferior mine is to yours.......

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    2. Mine is bigger now, but yours is totally winning...I didn't get a comment on my blog for MONTHS, lol.

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  2. i am stoked to read your bloggings...just make sure you post the links on FB, i don't bookmark these things and i forget, but I like to read while i am drinking my coffee in the mornings, my SIL has a great blog i read, but she is sometimes few and far between...so all i ask is that you keep them updated on a regular basis, so that i can read them as I drink my coffee the a.m. to keep me on a "regular" basis, if you know what i mean :)

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    1. I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to throw you off your "routine" now Mrs. Holland. I'll be sure and maintain my regularity.......until I don't anymore. I mean. Come on now. I'm not a damn trick horse! A performing monkey! Oh. Sorry. I sorta detached from reality there for a moment. Alright alright. I'll oblige your dire need for my witty posts. You're welcome. Now go fix me a cup o' joe.

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  3. Look Lady...don't know where you are, but I tried tagging a funny posting on FB to you, and you aren't there...and I have been wanting to read some funny sh*t on your page, but you aren't there either...
    So I hope you are doing okay, miss your funny face around ;)

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    1. hey woman! you have single-handedly (and very persistently) kept me motivated to blog. nice to know someone likes to hear what i have to say. cause my kids sure as hell don't :/

      i love seeing all your pics of bade and cooper and watching cooper learn how to swim this summer......

      why don't we hang out?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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